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33 Weeks

15 August 2007

33 Weeks

Warning: Sarcastic, blunt venting ahead.

For all you Mac & Apple snobs, you’ll be pleased to know that… This week, Blueberry is the size of an iBook.

Your baby is now 19.4 inches from head to toe and weighs about 4.4 pounds. You are probably both very aware that it is getting more and more cramped in there. Your baby’s adrenal glands have grown and are producing hormones that stimulate you to lactate.

Oh yay! You mean in addition to the non-stop Braxton Hicks contractions, peeing on myself when I get caught off-guard by a sneeze, feeling like a stranger in my own body, uncontrollable moodiness & fatigue from hormones and lack of sleep, and soreness in places I didn’t know I had, I now get to start leaking fluid in the only bra I own that still fits me? Wow. This just gets more fun every day.

Part of the reason I have been neglectful of the blog lately is that, a couple of weeks ago, I officially entered the part of pregnancy that actually sucks more than the first trimester. I have been trying to stay positive and not complain about things, but my willpower to maintain a brave facade is fading pretty quickly and I really don’t care anymore if I sound like a hormonal, whiny mess. I want my body back. I want the ability to eat what I want, when I want to without wondering if I’m getting enough protein to grow a child. I want to sleep on my stomach again. I want to wear normal jeans. I want to have a bottle of wine with dinner if I feel like it. I want to ride my motorcycle. I want to have sex without thinking about how uncomfortable I am and how disgustingly huge I must look. Hell, for that matter, I just want to want to have sex. I want to go to the gym without getting out of breath just thinking about it. I want to take Advil when my body hurts. I want to wake up in the morning and not wonder how I’m going to make it through another day at work. I want to see my toes.

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen… the non-sugarcoated version of late pregnancy. Because, seriously people, when have you known me to hold back? Why should now be any different? I’m not going to feel bad for feeling bad. That just makes things worse. I’m not going to pretend like pregnancy is nine months of glowing, giddiness and nursery-decorating. Yet, I will still love this kid like he’s the greatest thing on the planet… and I will do this again some day because it’s worth every minute.

  • Things I Like This Week: Still drinking Slurpees every other day.
  • Things I Don’t Like This Week: I could live without protein shakes & going to work right now.
  • What I Miss About Being Not Pregnant: See above.
  • What I Love About Being Pregnant: Birth.
3 Comments leave one →
  1. 15 August 2007 17:21

    I can’t even begin to tell you how funny I think this post is! πŸ˜‰ hee hee… I’d like to not have to ice my feet cuz they feel like they are on fire ever other day. and I wouldn’t mind that bottle of wine … not one single bit! LOL


  2. 15 August 2007 19:33

    I knew if anyone could appreciate it right now, it’d be you! Although, I was hoping you would tell me that this is just a phase and at 34 weeks it miraculously all goes away. 😐

    We may have to make plans for a celebratory post-natal bottle of wine later this year!

  3. 21 August 2007 11:12

    yes… it’s a phase.. sure… it just all goes away… only it’s gonna take us both a few… or five -seven???? more weeks till that happens…
    in the meantime it’s just my lap that has disappeared…

    it is much harder to find space in my lap for my LAPTOP! πŸ˜‰ hee hee

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