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Wanted: Cheese. To go with my whine.

24 June 2008

Sometimes I wish that…

… having an alcoholic beverage or a going for a pedicure did not require logistical forethought that rivals that of military coups in small countries.

… “sleeping through the night” actually meant sleeping THROUGHOUT the night and that it occurred on a more frequent basis than when mommy is gone or the two days a month that Keyven is not teething, ear-aching, growth-spurting or adjusting to a change in schedule.

… if it didn’t occur on a more frequent basis, someone else would get up with him for a change.

… I heard from my husband more than once every four days, especially when the last time I talked to him it seemed like we would be speaking again within the next 24 – 48 hours. 

… my mortgage broker and realtor wouldn’t call me again until closing day and then only to tell me I can come sign the papers and get my keys.

… I could fast-forward through a month of finding a babysitter in a new town, doing renovations mostly on my own, and moving in to a new place in another town.

… for once I didn’t have to pay for ALL the gas to go somewhere just because the car seat only fits in my car so it automatically gets driven the most. 

… I had friends here to go out with occasionally instead of sitting at home trying to conversate with an 8-month-old and writing bitchy blogs as a means of communication while everyone else is out doing things.

… I could go to the spa for a day.  Hell, I’d settle for a half-day even.

… reality t.v. was anywhere close to reality.  Like if they made a show about my life.  They could call it “Survivor: The Amazing Extreme Surreal World Home Improvement Supermommy Edition”.  Or something. 

… Aunt Flo(w) would visit already.  December 2006. Yup, that was the last time.  Surprisingly, I miss her.  I think she’s mad at me. 

… I could stop making obsessive mental lists of the 50 million things I have to do only to forget most of them when I get a pen and paper and then remember them at around 2 a.m. when I’m lying there trying to go back to sleep after the most recent pacifier-retrieval mission.

… I could get tired and go to sleep the instant I need to.  Like, when Keyven is sleeping.  As opposed to 7 a.m. when he’s ready to wake up. 

… I could afford to hire an accountant.  Because there’s not much I hate more than dealing with bills and finances, except maybe liver.  I really hate liver.

IMG_0272 Okay, I’m done with my self-indulgent whine-fest.  Now for the disclaimer:  I am totally thankful for my family, friends, and all the abundant and amazing life opportunities that come my way on a regular basis.  This blog in no way reflects negatively on those blessings or means that I don’t appreciate them.  But do you ever have one of those days that seems to be going relatively okay and then something seemingly insignificant happens that throws you in to an emotional tail-spin that makes everything seem huge and unconquerable after that?  An overused phrase about camels and straw comes to mind.

If you’ve never had one of these days, please forward your Prozac prescription leftovers to me.  To the rest of you, thanks for reading this far and putting up with my moods.   Two Tylenol PM are calling my name.

Photo: How I feel today, captured in color by Tim-daddy on the way home from the KC airport. 

8 Comments leave one →
  1. 24 June 2008 22:33

    I think chocolate would be better than cheese… but that’s just me! 😉

    And is it bad of me to admit that I love reading your whining?? Cuz it makes me laugh and smile, and wish (yet again) that we actually lived near each other and that we knew each other in real life? LOL

    oh.. and if you ever figure out that ‘going to sleep instantly when needed bit’.. please do share the secret! =)

  2. 25 June 2008 07:42

    I’m glad it’s somewhat entertaining instead of just plain obnoxious, which is how I feel when I’m writing those. But sometimes you just gotta get it out!

  3. Iris permalink
    25 June 2008 11:30

    Hang in there. Just don’t operate any heavy machinery…

  4. Sarah permalink
    25 June 2008 17:10

    i have havarti and bleu, take our pick. i may have eaten the whole of brie myself yesterday. i wish i was there (or better yet, you here!!) so i could babysit for ya. at least i have lots of practice reading dr. seuss books, for whatever that’s worth. you are totally allowed to whine (especially when its entertaining). but not about not getting your period. i, for one, would kill for that and/or endured teething.

  5. 25 June 2008 23:47

    Uh oh. Do my boobs count as heavy machinery? You don’t have to answer that. 😉

    Mmm… havarti, please. Your cheese selection reminds me of this thing my roomie and I used to get in California. We would go to Clint Eastwood’s restaurant in Carmel and share a baked brie & roasted garlic appetizer — we couldn’t afford a whole meal! They baked the brie all melty in its little shell and roasted whole clove garlic until it spread like butter. You’d put some of each on a toasted cracker and top it off with this red grape salsa/garnish. Yum… it was quite simply divine. Thanks for inspiring the most random food flashback ever.

  6. Rachel Lyon permalink
    28 June 2008 23:27

    I’m a little late in catching up with your blogs. I wanted to let you know that the ‘whining’ comforts me in that it’s nice to know I’m not alone. I’m a stay at home mom, too and am spending the summer with a terribly dramatic 13 year-old boy (my own so I can’t get rid of him) and an equally dramatic 2 year-old (also mine) who wails every 10 minutes for a lip gloss fix. I am also the sole renovator of our new house. This after 6 years solely renovating the LAST one. Blah, blah, blah… The point is that, sometimes, the big picture is difficult to see and who want s to see it all the time anyway? Two days ago after a day filled with minute disappointments I finally broke down and cried because my husband got me unsweetened tea instead of root beer. I was really looking forward to a sweet treat. Sometimes you have to give in to the little bouts of crazy.

    I thoroughly enjoy your blogs. They make me laugh and think, “Exactly!” all the time. I saw you were moving to Pittsburg and, if you ever want coffee and a conversation consisting of multi-syllabic words, you can look me up. I’m in the book.

  7. 30 June 2008 10:45

    “Sometimes you have to give in to the little bouts of crazy.”

    I think that sums it up perfectly! And it makes me feel so much better to know it’s not just me.

    Once I get settled in P-burg you can count on hearing from me. I am definitely ready to get some social time in that doesn’t involve baby talk or calling my mortgage lady.

  8. sandrar permalink
    10 September 2009 09:28

    Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. 🙂 Cheers! Sandra. R.

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